I realize I no longer really have desires. It's a kind of nirvana of indifference.
In order to masturbate I have to enter the same frame of mind in which
I take vitamins. Eating occurs in obeisance to general principles, a genuflection
of habit . If I miss a day or two, I don't experience hunger, not any more.
Perhaps what I'd need to actually want something would be to stay awake
for two or three days, to again experience the true compulsion for sleep;
but maybe not, this is never tested, I go to sleep as soon as the edge
of wakefulness dulls enough; I sleep as much as possible because I prefer
it to being awake.
till a change
of interpretation like suddenly noticing that the color of something in
your room, something you see every day, hasn't been one of the colors of
the rainbow as assumed, but another one after all
shmoetry
Surrealism
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